This Isn't Right for Her
by Butterfly Kitty
Summary: Beck recalls all the times his love shone for Jade. Contains Bade romance, Bade flashbacks, Cade friendship, abuse, abuse, abuse, cutting, abuse, blood, and did I mention abuse?


I still remember the look on her face when she knocked on the door of my RV at 10 PM, after 8th grade, before we started dating. Tears painted black from her heavy makeup streaked her pink cheeks, her eyes puffy and red and her knuckles white from her stress.

**_Something's not right..._**

She looks at me, her friend, her best friend besides Cat. And I let her in, she sits on the couch and sighs. Then she bursts into another round of sobs. When she finished, she looked up at me and sighed again.

_"Beck, I need you."_

I remember kissing her, even though it meant she was cheating. Right...?

_"Today's the worst day ever."_

I recall cradeling her in my arms, telling her everything was all right. I remember applying ointment to her cuts and icing her bruises, fresh from her dad's rage.

**_This isn't right for her._**

I remember kissing every wound in every place, trying to kiss away her troubles. I wondered why she came to me... until I remembered Cat was away on a Disneyland vacation.

_"Chad dumped me and my dad got fired."_

I remember hearing her tell the story of her dad's fury, his hatred, his blame, his punching bag. Well, person. I remember holding her tight, as if I could protect her from the world. And I wish I could've.

_**I need to help her survive her father's abuse.**_

_"Beck, help me!"_

**_I love her... wait, what?_**

_"Beck!"_

**_She's wailing. She's crying. She needs me. _**

With one last fitful sob she collapses into my chest, crying tearlessly. She ran out of tears soon enough. And finally I'm forced to face the truth.

**_Yes, I do love her._**

And I ask her out. And she smiles, the first smile I've seen tonight, or ever, really. It's pretty. Like her.

OOOOO

Later in time when we're in HA, and I kissed Tori during Alphabet Improv, I come home to my RV later that day, since she skipped the rest of school, expecting to see her, but she's not there, sitting on the couch like I thought. I remember looking everywhere, until I remember that she cuts her way out of any and all problems. So I look in the bathroom.

**_This isn't right for her._**

She's on the ground, crying her heart out, holding her bleeding wrist. I look closer, and I see my name carved in it, along with a little heart with an arrow through it. I walk over. And she looks up.

_"Stop. Don't hurt me again."_

I remember pulling her into my arms, and I remember she squirmed out of them. I remember reassuring her that I was hers and only hers, and then she asks the question.

_"Why'd you do it?"_

I tell her it was to give Tori what she wanted so she'd quit bugging us. I kiss her, I clean the blood off her arm. And I clearly remember that after that, she confidently led the next kiss.

OOOOO

I remember every night since Tori got here, she would come to the door, a bleeding, bruised mess. She says that her father was sick and tired of listening to her furiously releasing her anger on pillows, walls, paper, and her wrists. I remember being her kryptonite, trying to make her feel better, until I couldn't take it anymore.

**_This isn't right for her._**

I remember her laying next to me on the bed, her eyes closed but not sleeping. Using my finger to tilt her chin up, I made her promise not to go home again.

_"But what if my dad comes over? What'd happen then?"_

I remember calming her by telling her I was just as strong as I was handsome. And I remember her teasing me, saying I was so boastful. And I remember laughing, and hearing her laugh beside me. I remember those nights, she was abused, I was lonely, when we got together at my RV to just laugh and smile and relax and watch Full House on TV.

OOOOO

I remember when her father did storm over here, looking for her. I remember fighting for her, and I remember the blood trickling down my face. But it was worth it. Her dad was a drunken mess, his mind stupified just enough for me to emerge victorious and knock him out. I remember her horror, her screams, her cries. I remember it like it was just yesterday.

_"Beck!"_

I remember sitting on my bed while she cleaned my wounds, like I did to her. I remember just how much compassion shone in her eyes, like the North Star. I remember her telling me how much she loved me. And then I remembered how scared she was when she and I realized her dad was faking and during the night nearly killed her, hospitalizing her.

**_This isn't right for her._**

I remember the fear in her eyes when she woke up in the hospital. I remember being swept out of her room when visiting hours were over, and I remember her screaming for me. I remember punching the nurses away when I saw what was happening.

_**They're putting her in a medical sleep!**_

I remember how groggy and out-of-it she was when she woke up. She was all loopy and weird.

_"Where'd my thumb go? Hehehe, my thumb disappeared. It's missing. Who are you? Are you an angel? Ooh, I found my thumb! Hey angel, do you eat pancakes? I like pancakes. But not with gravy. Hehehe..."_

I remember bringing her to my RV that night. I remember her laughing and rolling her head around and playing with her food. I remember how angry I was at the doctors and nurses.

OOOOO

I remember finally snapping one night when she and I were in a serious argument. We were text fighting all day and then we finally started yelling at each other.

_"You're so pushy! I refuse to be nice to Vega!"_

I remember getting so mad that I slapped her. She staggered backwards, and a fear suddenly shone in her eyes, a wild, crazed fear that was never directed towards me.

_"B-Beck? Who are you? I don't reconize you. What happened to you, Beck?"_

I remember her confusion as I kept yelling. I remember her storming out of my RV, and I remember how I just flopped down in bed and tried to sleep. But I remember the guilt literally eating me alive all night. Her words kept playing through my mind, making me feel more and more like a jerk.

_"Who are you? I don't reconize you. What happened to you, Beck?"_

I remember how much the slap hurt her, but I think it hurt me more. And later that night I got a call from Cat, and she was yelling at me.

"BECK! BECK, YOU SLAPPED HER? SHE'S OVER MY HOUSE, CRYING HER EYES OUT, AND BLEEDING FROM HER FATHER, AND ALL YOU DO IS SIT THERE? YOU SLAPPED HER AFTER ALL YOU TWO HAVE BEEN THROUGH?"

And then I remember her muffled words, her voice cracking.

_"Cat, forget it. He's made his choice."_

And I felt more guilty than ever.

_**This isn't right for her.**_

I remember rushing to Cat's house, and both girls mistrustful eyes. And then I remember apologizing to my girl over and over, crying and begging for forgiveness. And I promised to save her from her father, take him to court. Because it wasn't right for her, to be mistreated so much.

"Jade, I love you."

"I love you too, Beck."


End file.
